Sunday, February 24, 2013

Of Babies & Things

What am I doing today on this blustery day (light snow) in this gorgeous city?  BABY CLOTHES SHOPPING. For another one of my best friends has entered the realm of motherhood.

This is us about 4 years ago:

From living the dream in Newport Beach... recent baby shower for the hot mama.
I love these ladies.  We've been through good times bad times, an incredible amount of fun, and tons of laughter.  But now both of them are married.  The pretty very-pregnant girl in the middle recently gave birth to the most adorable baby girl and now...the pretty blonde on the right just had twins.

I'm honestly so happy for her, it's been her dream to be a mother for years now and she is going to be the best mom ever and I can't wait to be an auntie to these three babies! But can I just be a little bit selfish for one moment and speak up for all the other single people whose friends are all of a sudden getting married and having babies in droves?

Please refer to "The Post That Started It All" and how completely isolating it can be to try and juggle a stressful career & figure out your life while everyone else is partnered up and assumes you're having a bada** time dancing non-stop when really, it's quite a struggle that you have to deal with on your OWN.  It's bad enough when your best friends start getting married - that in itself is a huge step, big commitment, lots of responsibility, and rightfully, the marriage takes precedence over girls night out and road-tripping through Europe.  But a married person's life and a single person's life are not dramatically different - we're still focused on our careers and changing the world, we've got love issues, you know...the conversations over dinner and wine are still cosy and have central points of focus.

But when babies come EVERYTHING CHANGES.  Having children is a huge, huge responsibility, even bigger than marriage because now you have a little life who is completely dependent on you for everything.  The future of society is in your hands.   It's a big deal, I completely get it.  And especially with babies, it's new, it's all-consuming...there's a vast chasm between a single, childless woman and a new mom:  when they talk for hours about swaddling and swollen nipples my eyes glaze over and I reach for a bottle of vodka and a straw; when I start yammering on about "finding myself in Europe" and the awesome new pair of Louboutins I bought, they think, "Alexandra needs to settle down and get it feeding time and where is the binky?"

A single woman's and a mom's life are hard in their own ways but they are so tremendously different.  It sometimes feels like each of us is not really being understood by the other.  I'm sure at some point I'll be in their position too...or maybe not if I don't find the One with whom I want to have children.  I haven't found him yet and I refuse to settle and if that means in this life I'm not meant to have kidlets, I guess that's that...I don't subscribe to this lady's thesis that women should settle for "Mr. Good Enough" just so we can procreate.  Side note.

I just wish it were like school and we all graduated from one class to the next at the same time.  I'm going through a lot of changes in my life pertaining to my career and where I'll live next...but these girls are new mothers now and preoccupied with little newborns.  They're on their own adventures and we're worlds apart.  I miss them so much and I guess all I can do is...try to understand and support them the best I can.  And so on this lovely day in Paris, Auntie Alexandra went baby clothes shopping for twins.

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